Wow! Thanks to all of our friends and new "cyber-friends" on the name dilemma!!! I actually have to say that I learned more from adoptive parents than I realized! Don't get me wrong, my friends who haven't adopted had plenty of great advice (just strokin' you all a bit so you don't get all "riled" up!)...but, I REALLY liked the advice given by people who have "been there and done that"! I even had people with the actual name in question answer! Zheng-how cool are you! Anyway, for now, we are going with (and this is where you hear a cyber drum roll...) :
Taryn Joy ZhengBen.
Apparently, it is just not correct to use only one of the two given names in China, and this is how it is done. It would be like calling me "Re" or "Becca", but not ever putting them together. She is probably being called "ZhengBen" or "BenBen" by her caretakers now. I have also learned that just like in America, Ben is a boys name in China as well!
Given' our princess a boys name...was up with that???? On the flip side of that, when I look at her cute, little face I want to call her "BenBen" as well!
However, we like the meaning of both. We like the sound of both together. And we like how it looks written down...so it shall be!
Now, the only catch will be if we get over there and for some reason it just "doesn't seem right". And I say this, only because it has been brought up in the comments by several parents whose daughters name didn't fit her upon meeting her. I can understand that...in theory...BUT, I am such a HUGE name FREAK (apparently) that I doubt this will be happening! I am just allowing "room" for it if it does!
So, a BIG thank you to everyone who posted and those of you who posted on Face book...
I am truly grateful to every ones interest and advice and am SO totally stoked about hearing from other adoptive parents!
Until next time....
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Hi,Rebecca,THX for mentioning me in your post(smirk)!Happy for your decision!i didnt vote for "Ben" at first beacause i thought it was boyish.But after talking with my mom,i got to understand the deep meaning of this name.There is a phenomena in China that people name their daughters with boys' names intentionally because of the gender inequality that still exists in China nowadays. They choose boys' names for their girls to grow as strong and as free as boys.i think to Taryn,to her little life, this boyis name"Ben" means much more itself other than its literal meanings.
ReplyDeleteI am a little late to the game, but as a "been there" person, I fugured I would add my two cents anyway. Almost all middle class and higher people in China have two names: a Chinese name and a Western name. The two are separate, not combined into one name. When we adopted our daughter from China, we gave her a new Western name and kept her Chinese one (actually we changed the family name character from the orphanage one to my husband's family name character). Now at 19 months, she responds both to her Chinese shortened name (XinXin) and her Western name.
ReplyDeleteHave you noticed how much Tari and MeiLi look alike?
ReplyDeleteThought this was so interesting.
http://www.babysites.com/sites/jemchina/
Rebecca & Steve,
ReplyDeleteFWIW, I think you made the right decision (and it's what I suggested, so you're wise, wise people! ;^)
Like you, I didn't appreciate my #1DD's CN, I had more native Chinese people tell me it wasn't even a name (in fact, it IS a name, of one of the Giant Panda's at the Chengdu Breeding & Research Center! but I digress....). BUT, the more we thought about it, the more we knew we should keep it "as is" - I think she will appreciate it later (when she's going through that teenage angst that we're fully expecting) -- we can always say "we" didn't name her that, someone else did!
But you know what, it's cute (2 1/2 years later), she often refers to herself as Guo Guo ("gwo gwo") and to her little sister as Jiao Jiao (rhymes with 'wow'!).
Hoping you get TA this week so you can finally plan for your travel. So excited for you and for Taryn's big brothers -- they're going to LOVE having a little sister! (Trust me on this, we have three teenage sons who are crazy about their little sisters!).
Oh, one more thing, you know those fabric dolls -- Groovy Girls, I think) you can find at Target? Well, the Asian girl doll is named "Taryn" -- it's one of my oldest daughter's favorite dolls!
TB