Sunday, March 29, 2009

Movin' Onward and Upward...

It has been brought to my attention (by my sweet and honest sister!) that I should NOT be posting on this page any longer. I am HOME, therefore should be posting on the family page. So, she is right (urghhhh...), and I will now be posting further life "episodes" on our family page! Please continue to join me on this journey that is my life...

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Spit Peas and Snot...






These are the days of my life...we have all been sick, thus the lack of posts recently! Taryn has been the last women standing at our house...and she has fallen to the "cold" we have all had. When our boys were babies and had colds there was OTC medicine we could give them...well, not anymore! I am just sucking her nose out (to the point she might need therapy later in life!) and using a humidifier! Poor thing...not only does she have all of these changes to adapt too...now she can't breath on top of everything else! And, we were just getting into a routine with sleep and wake time too! Oh well, I didn't take off from work to "play" around...but to get her and us settled in to real life.
Speaking of real life. We have started baby foods (as you can see by the picture) and she is defiantly a baby that knows what she likes and doesn't like! She seems to like veggies better than fruit (that was how they ate in China as well!)...she has also learned that it is great fun to blow "raspberries" while eating baby food! We have to duck and cover with most feedings...shower following!
Besides the sleeping issues that continue to plague us...she is making great strides every day! She is now rolling over and bringing Cheerios to her mouth...neither of which she could do last week! She also HATED her bath...until, last week. Now, she is sticking her head under water and coming up laughing! She loves her "Johnny jump up" and exercise car (a remnant from the boys)...the use of her legs is her favorite thing! We have OT sessions every morning and evening! It has been really fun to help her learn and grow to where she should be at 9 months! She has her first Doctors appointment on April 1st...I don't know if she gets shots or not...lets hope NOT! I plan on posting once a week, maybe twice depending on the "excitement level" in our home!
She sure has been a joy to parent...I feel blessed to be her Mommy every day! Just the other day Wesley summed it up best by saying to her "Taryn, we are so lucky to have you!"...and we are!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

"So...how much did it cost???"

I thought I would start a discussion about the issue of "Questions" from total strangers (and sometimes family!) regarding adoption. I have only been out with Taryn once in the USA and that was in the Chicago Airport! But, in the 3 hour layover we had, we were literally approached by at least 5 people that I can remember! All total strangers...all very "curious"...and ALL of them asked "So, how much did it cost?" I always thought I WOULDN'T be annoyed with this...but, and maybe it was because I was very tired and jet lagged, (and obviously still am!) it seemed a bit odd to me! I mean, we don't EVER ask someone how much it costs when they give birth! We just assume that some amount of money was paid...and go on about our lives. So, with adoption, I would just assume that it "cost's alot"! Seriously, most people who know ANYTHING about adoption know that it cost's alot of money to do so! In the end we just told them "25 grand"...but, I couldn't help feeling slightly annoyed that it wasn't any ones business! Steve isn't as "skeptical" as I am and just felt like people were being "curious" and "didn't know it was rude..." And, he is probably right! But, what about the other questions? Ones like "why didn't you stay in the US?" or "is she adopted?" (actually, this one makes me smile...because looking at Steve and myself and then at our China baby...well, it's kind of obvious!) or "You all just wanted a girl..." The latter being the one that makes me the MADDEST of all! This has actually been said A LOT (mostly by family members!) and it is SO NOT TRUE! I feel like that particular question negates my boys! Like they "weren't good enough" so we had to go "get us a girl"...Ooohhh, NOW I am on a soap box people!
And, just curious to know, how do you answer "where is your baby from?" or "are your other children adopted...?" All of this is partially "okay" right now...but, what about when Taryn is older? Old enough to think out the answer herself? Will she not be "from" Kentucky? And will she forever be reminded of "how much she cost"? One last question (and really, that is what I am doing is trying to get feedback on how others have handled/answered these questions in the past!) do I refer to the boys as my "bio" children and Taryn as my "adopted" child...I don't think that sounds correct at all! There has to be a better way to deal with all of this "curiousness" (ignorance is how I am looking at it...but, just trying to be nice!). And, early on a BTDT mom reminded me that how I react to questions is how my daughter will perceive my "feelings" about her...which I thought was a very wise statement. She also said that to handle things "wrongly" or "badly" (out of frustration or anger) will only teach Taryn to do the same thing!
So, all of that being said...I KNOW some of you have dealt with this issue...because 5 people in the span of 3 hours was obviously a small glimpse into what life will be like now! Not to mention, I have to go to Wal-Mart Monday and wanted to be prepared!!!
Thanks for letting me vent...I am now stepping down from the box!

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Ramblings...

She usually doesn't look this worried about things...we sat her down for one of the first times on the floor to play with her brothers and toys...she wasn't trusting the idea at first!
...she got used to it very quickly!

Meeting Wesley...
Garrett enjoying being a big brother for the first time!

I have comprised a list of ideas and things for those of you getting ready to travel or waiting to travel to China. These are things that I wish I had known about to bring...or not to bring! I know most of you have a "packing list" to copy or borrow...I borrowed my list from a friend and just made changes as needed. So, I am NOT going to post our packing list because there are like a blue gazillion out there on-line to download! However, these are a few things that I DIDN'T have on the list and they would have been SO great to have had. First, even if the little voice inside your head tells you to NOT bring movies for you to watch on your "down" time...bring some anyway. If you have a laptop you will be able to watch them on the laptop. And...YOU WILL have plenty of downtime. Especially in your babies Provence. We were in our hotel room more than we were out...the weather was horrible and there wasn't much to do outside in her Provence anyway. There is only so much Discovery Channel or CNN one can watch...we would have LOVED to watch a few movies during naps or before bed!
Secondly, if you don't know about "Skype"...find out about it! It is the BEST way to communicate back to home. We DIDN'T know about it at first and in Beijing we used a calling card home...only cost about 8 US dollars. That doesn't sound bad, but, once again, in the Provence the calling cards wouldn't work unless we used an outside phone line...which IS NOT convenient! Skype is virtually free (2 cents a minute) we downloaded it on our computer and called home. Our boys talked to us via the land phone and we talked via the computer! I was able to even call other friends and family (not just the boys!). If you actually download Skype to your home computer before you leave...it won't even cost 2 cents a minute...it will be FREE! And, it gets even better, if you have cameras on your computers (web cams or laptop cameras) then you can talk face to face...for FREE! Don't fall for the "panda phone" or "calling card" suggestions that will be given to you when you prepare for travel...check out Skype...we are totally all about that! So glad our friends in China (props to Evelyn!) showed us how to use it!
Thirdly, I want to emphasise this one...BRING PEANUT BUTTER! If you are traveling with anyone that is a picky eater, this will save you at some point! We brought PB and bought bread at every Provence and ate it at least 2 times in every Provence we were at. You can only eat so much rice...just a suggestion!
Regarding Travel...EVERYTHING MUST WEIGH UNDER 44 lbs! This is a biggy! We witnessed people (even in our travel group) who had to actually open their suitcases and flip flop stuff around because they weighed to much. You don't want to have to wait until you are at the airport to do this...especially a foreign airport! Someone loaned us a small luggage scale that actually weighed less that .5 lbs...it saved us! You only get to bring one suitcase per person going to China...coming home you can bring two. We bought a third suitcase in Guangzhou (if you do any shopping at all you will have to do this to get home!) for 13 US dollars (props to Jesus on that one!). Steve wants me to point out also, that on the way back you actually have to check your luggage at 3 different airports (or however many airports you travel to going home). Because you are coming from a "foreign" country and have to go through customs you will have to retrieve your luggage at the baggage claim at every airport and re-check it and go through customs and security each time (it is acutally worse in the US airports on the return trip). Remember this when you are packing your "carry on" items to go home...Going to China we had 4 carry on's (slightly excessive???)...coming home we eliminated 2 of those. Thank God! All of the checking in and going through security each time was a huge pain...extra carry on's would have been a HUGE hassle on top of everything else!
I am also glad that I brought a whole pack of US diapers. They were needed. I had debated on bringing a few...and in the end, packed a whole pack. Chinese diapers are crappy diapers (excuse the pun!)...they don't hold very well at all and can really only be used for short periods. So, overnight and for long trips the US diapers were needed and worked so much better...FYI!
One thing I didn't have and really could have used multiple times was a formula dispenser. It would have come in handy on SEVERAL occasions...but especially when we traveled home. The mom's I traveled with had them and said they got them at Babies R Us...I just ended up filling a bunch of Playtex refills and putting rubber bands around them! Which brings me to the last thing I can think of .... If you bring any bottles at all bring the refillable Playtex kind. We switched her to those several days after Gotcha day, and they were so easy to pack. We didn't have to have multiple bottles that took up a lot of space...just make sure you bring enough refills (50-100) for the trip. The Orphanage bottles were poor quality and took up a lot of room! We also had our Chinese Guide read the instructions for us on our formula bag...the orphanage told us what they were doing and it didn't correspond at all to the instructions on the bag! They were actually halving the amount of formula needed and upping the rice cereal dose (as a filler...). So, once we figured that out we were able to switch her around on that as well! Okay, that is it...but these "tidbits" of information really would have helped me if I had gotten them ahead of time, so I hope it helps SOMEONE out there at some point!
BTW...if anyone has some suggestions on "changing" your babies schedules to American time let me know! We are having a hard time with this! Granted, it is only our third night...but, all of a sudden she doesn't like her crib and she is waking up ALL OF THE TIME! I don't think I am doing something right! Any suggestions from BTDT moms???

Friday, March 13, 2009

Were Home!

Home at Last!
Taryn had her own seat in the plane...

Her friend Emmalee in the front of us...
...and another friend in the back...we were surrounded by cuteness!
Trying to nap...is it daytime or night time????
Meeting Grandmommy...
Meeting Garrett at the airport...
Wesley, Garrett and Taryn...we are complete!


We made it! Through the 3 flights and 3 layovers totaling 27 hours...we made it home in one piece and halfway sane! Taryn did beautifully...she was still smiling when we landed in Lexington. She had a hard time sleeping on the plane, and you can't hardly blame her-we all had a hard time sleeping on the plane! I believe there were 18 babies on the flight going home with families (3 were NOT adopted...). So, you can only imagine the flight itself! For the most part it was calm...long...but calm!
And we are SO VERY HAPPY to be home in America! The first thing we did in the Chicago airport was eat at Chili's! The plane served fish not once but TWICE! Why??? Why is fish served on a plane? It smells the entire plane up and you know, it doesn't travel well! Both flights too and from had fish...I really like fish here in the states...but on a plane??? So, we had gone almost 24 hours without eating...Chili's was Awesome!!!
We have been home one full day now and it still seems surreal. We are, of course, tired and "off schedule"...Taryn never really has established a schedule...but, it is especially hard when you are trying to "turn around" by an entire 12 hours! The boys are "in love" with her...they say she is "better than a puppy..." hehe! She seems to really like them as well. She doesn't cry when they hold her and laughs when they play with her. She is such an "easy going" baby...I have been quiet pleased so far with her "reaction" to new people!
We are now in the process of "cleaning" old baby items: ex...high chair, bouncy seat, etc... It is bringing back sweet memories of when the boys used them! Poor Taryn...she has a car bouncy seat instead of a "princess" one! Oh well...she has older brothers right???
Thank you to everyone who has prayed for us, communicated good wishes to us, stood by us through all of this "drama" and especially thank you to those of you who have said they would bring meals...wow! That helps out more than anyone will ever know...especially with jet lag...I don't really know what time of day it is let alone feel "perky" enough to cook! So, thank you!
I plan on continuing to blog...I don't really know when it will switch to the "family" section...but, probably soon. I just can't believe this part of the adoption is OVER! We received an email from our adoption agency saying something to the effect of "Congratulations it is finished..." I still can't quiet grasp that concept!
I hope everyone has a peaceful night...we will!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Leaving China...

Worth the Wait!
Taryn "met" at sweet little 9 month old boy from this Provence (notice the "bundling")
Sweet little Liam (4 yo) and his mommy and Daddy (Scott and Joleene) from Indiana
Faith Ann (2 yo) and her parents John and Jeanie from Ohio
Little Emmalee Rose (16 mo) with her happy parents Doug (a.k.a. "Smiley") and Rebecca from Tennessee
Mei Li (9 mo...Taryn's Orphanage sister) with Evelyn and Jesus...we absolutely love this couple! From Miami Florida
Very "spicy" Sylvia Joy (10 mo another orphanage sister) with Cliff and Amy...we became great friends...from Kentucky!
Our PRICELESS guide Susan with our daughter...we could not have done this trip with out her! Seriously...she was a Godsend...

Today was our last day in Guangzhou China. It is bittersweet. We are SO ready to leave and come home...but, (and I can't believe I am actually going to say this!) it is sad to leave the country where our baby was born. I feel like we are leaving a part of her behind. She is a Chinese-American now (to be PC about it!)...but, part of her heritage is here. And as hard as this trip has been, and as "different" as the culture has been compared to what we are used too...I am still sad about leaving! I can't quiet put into words exactly "why" I am sad...It is mostly for her...and partly because I am so darn tired that everything is making me all mushy and weepy! We are taking away so many wonderful, bizarre, not-so-wonderful, and totally Awesome memories with us. All of a sudden I don't feel like I took enough pictures! I don't know...I am just feeling different than I thought I would a week ago about taking her out of her country. And, apparently, it is NOT out of the ordinary for me to be feeling this way. I have heard from many adoptive moms that they felt the exact same way...I just thought after the crazy, culturally different week we had in her Provence of Jiangxi Nanchang that I would be okay with leaving. I know I will feel differently when I see my sweet boys at the airport...but for now, I am sad for many different reasons!
Moving on to "lighter" things...we went to the US Consulate today and took "vows" to take care of our baby, give her all of the same rights as other US citizens and never to abuse or abandon her. According to China and the United States she is 100% officially our daughter! Wow! We (mostly the moms) were all tearful after saying the vows because we knew it was OVER! And all of the paperwork, planning, tears, worry, stress, ups and downs, renewing everything under the sun (3 times!),answering endless "have you heard anything" questions, and finally...waiting almost 4 years is FINALLY OVER...it was an overwhelming emotion that most of us were not expecting! There was our group of 6 families and then about 50 other families that all said our "vows" together... Taryn is officially ours! Once again, Wow! Praise God it is OVER (have I said that enough yet???)!!!
So, the next time you hear from me (and it won't be until Thursday your time...) we will be back in Kentucky in our dry, mold free beds. With our boys and our daughter all under one roof...a complete and whole family.
Once again...addressing waiting families...please hang in there! Your turn will come and it is SO VERY WORTH IT (another thing I wasn't sure I would ever get to say!). Your son or daughter need you...they really do! I encourage you to keep your "eye" on the prize and like Paul says in the bible...finish the race! It will be over soon...maybe not soon in your eyes...but soon enough for the child God has picked out for you. His timing is perfect...continue the wait.
I am including pictures (once again...but these are more organized!) of the families we traveled with. We will NEVER forget them...they are precious to us!
We have 18 hours of flying and approximately 7-8 hours of layover time tomorrow...prayer is in order please! See you on the flip side friends!

Monday, March 9, 2009

Red Couch Day!

The three "Orphanage Sisters"-Sylvia Joy; Mei Li; Taryn Joy
Mei Li and Taryn goofing around...
Our Asian Princess!
How cute are these two! Everyone says they look alike! Because they are both Cute!
Faith Ann; Emmalee Rose; Liam Kai; Mei Li; Taryn Joy; Sylvia Joy

There is a "tradition" among adoption families that when you have "made it" to Guangzhou the babies in your travel group all take a picture on "the red couch" at the White Swan Hotel. First, let me start by saying the White Swan Hotel is the sharpest hotel I have ever seen...hands down nice! It is like a 6 star hotel! We are staying up the road at the "ghetto"(just kiddin') , but our hotel, The Victory is NOTHING compared to the White Swan! We all went to "check it out" the other night after dinner, which we shouldn't have done! We left all sad and mad because we weren't staying there! Anyway, we had to walk to the White Swan from our hotel to get the red couch pictures today. The babies in the photo are all in our "travel group"...meaning, all 6 families are from the same adoption agency and traveled together (in Beijing and now in Guangzhou...we split up for the Provence week). Three of the families are in the "special needs" program and three of the families (including us) are in the "non-special needs" program. All three of the non-special needs babies were in the same orhpanage so we have been together now for almost 3 weeks! We have become really close with these two families and it means a lot that our babies started out together! I really hope we can keep in touch! The other 3 families are precious as well...they have been "called" to a much higher calling than adoption. Taking a special needs orphan takes even more dedication and determination...they are truly wonderful parents!
So, that being said...Enjoy the "cute" pictures of the Red Couch. I will try to "explain" who the children are! Taryn, is the cute one in the light pink Chinese "tutu" (thank you very much!). Mei Li is her "orphanage sister" on her right in the hot pink "tutu"...she has the great hair! Her parents are so much fun to be with, they are from Miami Fl. And then Sylvia (to Taryn's left...the one needing her mommy for the picture!) was Taryn's friend in the orhpanage. We actually have pictures of them together with Sylvia's arm around Taryn! Her family lives in Georgetown Ky! That is great because the two can stay friends by living close to each other! In the middle is Liam...we LOVE this kid! He was special needs simply because of his age. He is 4 1/2 years old...he is the sweetest little boy! The only American word he knows is "hello" and he says it ALL OF THE TIME! You can hear him coming because you hear "hello...hello...hello"...he is precious! Next to him is Emmalee Rose...she has a cleft lip/cleft palate to be repaired in the States. She is ALWAYS smiling...just like her parents! And on the end is Faith Ann...she has a hearing disorder that hasn't been taken care of yet but will be as soon as they get back to Ohio.
So, these are the "kids" in our group. I will miss seeing them! It is funny how "attached" you get on a trip such as this! You really rely on the families to "watch your back" so to speak when you are in an unknown place. And it has so helped to have people going through the same stuff as you! It has been a life changing experience...one we will never forget.
On another note...we have "one man down" in the Feck family right now. I have been a single mommy today...Steve is sick. And, just like at home when he gets sick...he gets REALLY sick! He looks awful and has a fever...he has been in bed all day accept for the short "outing" to the White Swan. We have been teasing him that he is just trying to get out of eating another Chinese meal...but, in reality...he feels awful! Please pray for him if you think about it...we have another day here and then a LONG, LONG, LONG flight home. He will need to be feeling better to get through that!
I also wanted to say a big "HELLO" to my little friends at Rosenwald Dunbar Elementary School in Nicholasville Kentucky! I know some of you have been keeping up with the blog in your classrooms and I hope you have learned a lot about China! Hello to Ms. Brakebill's class and Ms. Burn's class...We will have to bring Taryn in to meet you as soon as she is able!
That's it for now...enjoy the pictures...ONE MORE DAY in China!

Sunday, March 8, 2009

For Kicks and Giggles...









Guangzhou China = Gatlinburg TN. United States...












We are now in the "tourist trap" of China! This entire day was busy. We started out going to a Chinese Christian Church...it was lovely. Probably the 2nd greatest "highlight" of this trip for me (the first being getting Taryn of course...). I have never felt so overwhelmed listening to the many Chinese people praising and worshipping God...it was so moving...words can't describe. I couldn't even understand the words...but I recognized the tune from our church at home. I actually "teared up" listening to it...it was beautiful to witness and I almost felt a little "sad" that Taryn wasn't going to be surrounded by such lovely Chinese people as those in this Church. The minister even started out with a joke! There was a translator of course...but, it was a lovely sermon and I was so glad to be a part of something I didn't even know existed in China.
Then, directly after Church we rushed, rushed, rushed straight to the Pearl Market...yeah baby...I said the PEARL MARKET! Wholesale "real" pearls...We got Taryn a necklace and earrings with a silver clasp for 90$ US dollars (sweet!!!). We actually bought these for her wedding day...My goal has been to get her one gift from China for every birthday through her 18th birthday...and then a wedding gift. I know, that sounds ridiculous, but we aren't buying huge expensive items. Just little things from her home Country. The biggest gifts (or most expensive I should say) were the "wedding" pearls and then we bought a Jade (which is also big here in China) ring and bracelet for her 16th year (45$ US!...even sweeter!). Then, and I had to include pictures/video of the next adventure or nobody would believe me...we went to a wholesale market called "Carrefour"...it is like a Wal-mart...only 10 times CRAZIER! We all left there having anxiety attacks! It was nuts! And we only had to get baby cereal! Lesson learned...stay away from Carrefour in China!
Finally, we met for dinner as a group...once again (and probably not the last time) for Chinese. You KNOW it is a good Chinese food restaurant when the food is swimming in the tanks and there are Chandeliers hanging overhead...extra special...hmmmm!
So, I leave you with tons of pictures and video "footage". We are tired...and poor Taryn...went down with a smile as always!